Perfectionism
No matter what you do it just never seems like it’s good enough. You’re working long hours, missing out on sleep, and your health is beginning to decline. You set unattainable standards for yourself and when you inevitably fall short, anxiety and self-doubt take over. The relentless pressure leaves you emotionally and physically exhausted and completely disconnected from your life and relationships.
Perfectionism is incredibly common, so you are not alone. Society reinforces this mindset because we live in a world that celebrates individual achievements and consumerism, where being the best is the only goal, and everywhere you look there are messages urging you to be more and do more.
While your efforts to be the best may have helped you at times in your life, they can lead to burnout, physical health problems, and strained relationships.
My Approach
Many people who come to therapy for perfectionism worry that this will make them care less or lower their standards. But that isn’t the goal. Instead, therapy can help you build flexibility into the rigid expectations and self-criticism that make you feel like you can never do or be good enough.
Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and attachment-focused interventions, we will explore the beliefs and patterns that fuel perfectionism, challenge all-or-nothing thinking and unrealistic standards, and learn ways to compassionately allow yourself to be human.
We will also explore the shame that often underlies perfectionism. That fear that falling short means something about who you are or what you are worth. By understanding how these beliefs may have developed, you will begin to separate your worth from your performance and make choices based on what is most important to you rather than what perfectionism demands of you.
Like Kurt Vonnegut said, you are “a human being, not a human doing”.